Not Ill Enough

My GP referred me to the CMHT to see a psychiatrist back on 1st October.

I waited and waited for Central Booking to call and triage me, ringing them up three times to ask when it would happen. They said four weeks, but it never happened since I eventually got a letter telling me that I had an appointment with the CPN and psychiatrist nearly 8 weeks after seeing my GP.

All this faffing around, waiting, being put off, being told lies was increasing my stress levels – but luckily I was coping.

So I had my appointment with the psychiatrist and it didn’t go well. He kept asking closed questions and being a very direct person I just answer the question I am asked. When I did at one point start to expand on my point I was getting overexcited, talking too quickly, trying to get too much out at once, so I shut up.

In the end, despite the fact that I had written in my notebook things I wanted to bring up, I didn’t end up telling them what was worrying me – I forgot about the notebook. They sent me off saying that I was well enough to cope on my own and to take 1mg risperidone every day.

But I am not stable. I don’t like taking the meds, for lots of reasons, and I am still worried and SH and I have high anxiety and I have had psychotic episodes and now I’m all alone with it again.

Why don’t they supply any support? I’m trying to avoid going into crisis and they do nothing. Do they want me to go into crisis? Will they look after me then? Will they do the things I need to do (send emails, fill in applications, pay bills etc.) while I’m in crisis? No! Will they refund me the income I have lost because I am in crisis? No!

It’s pathetic.

 

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About augustusnds

I did the normal things people do - worked in an office, bought a house, fell in love, but my love would not marry me, she left me. After this it all spiralled out of control, went mad and ended up in hospital, more than once. So I changed tack, gave up the day job and became an entertaininer: writing, producing and performing my own one-person-shows as well as songs, poems and videos. To see some of what I do look at www.augustusemperors.com And I search for a way to be happy in a world that doesn't understand me, as you can see in some of my blogs.
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1 Response to Not Ill Enough

  1. Becky Bee says:

    I can understand this completely. Have been told before that I have “too much insight” to actually be unwell and therefore been ignored. It’s awful. Keep fighting, keep your notebook, get the help you need. You shouldn’t be alone with it, whatever the CMHT think.

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