I might be in trouble

I have been hypomanic all day Thursday. Managed to calm down by going out and playing board games, but I was a bit aggressive.

Then I got home at my usual bed-time and I felt happy and interested in a project of Self harm. So I assembled the tools necessary and had a good go at myself. Spent quite some time working at this, though did nothing severe that required going to hospital. Did some first aid and lay down to sleep, tired and happy.

Woke up at 1a.m. feeling similar. Wanting to do some crazy stuff. Tried breaking a cup, but it stubbornly refused. Toyed with the idea of going on a breaking spree in the town, but it is so cold out, and raining.

So I started on a new project to get blood for writing in my Holy Book. I did so and wrote in my Holy Book.

Now, this seems more than just hypomania, this might be mania (which I’ve never had) or it might be psychosis. Either way, I should call the CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) who know about me and might help me. But if it’s just hypomania, it’s not worth it as they won’t do anything.

And yet, I’m enjoying myself. šŸ™‚


About augustusnds

I did the normal things people do - worked in an office, bought a house, fell in love, but my love would not marry me, she left me. After this it all spiralled out of control, went mad and ended up in hospital, more than once. So I changed tack, gave up the day job and became an entertaininer: writing, producing and performing my own one-person-shows as well as songs, poems and videos. To see some of what I do look at www.augustusemperors.com And I search for a way to be happy in a world that doesn't understand me, as you can see in some of my blogs.
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1 Response to I might be in trouble

  1. It might be good idea, as you said, to be evaluated by the mental health team. It seems to be a bit more than hypomania happening. It is concerning that you feel happy when you are cutting and you should seek some help.

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