On Thursday I was so calm and emotionless
But I have schizoaffective disorder, and no emotional state lasts for long. By Friday evening I was a nervous wreck, shaking like a leaf and a thousand miles from calm.
And so it continued on Saturday.
Maybe it is worth it – this shaking and agitation is the opposite of the calm and is therefore a necessary response to the calm. The things I could achieve would out weigh the downside of this agitation.
That is the equation I am hoping for.
Some people might see this as high risk behaviour – but I can’t go back to being on medication and achieving nothing.
I do seem to have insight into how I am so it shouldn’t be too dangerous.
I shall keep watching.